What old reactions or stories might be shaping your life more than you realize—and what could change if you learned to release them?
Have you ever noticed how one old memory or reaction can still shape your day—and asked yourself what it would take to finally let it go?
In our last article, we talked about the different transitions that many of us experience in our lives.
When we experience a transition in our lives, there is an ending of the ‘old’ way of life or thinking and then the beginning of a ‘new’ way of life or a new way of thinking. In between, there is uncertainty with a mix of uncomfortable and comfortable emotions.
Sometimes transitions can result from small shifts in our perspectives – a shift from one way of thinking to another. Visualization can be a key tool when trying to make these shifts.
Visualization is the practice of creating mental images to shape how we think, feel, or respond in real-life situations. It’s one of the many processes taking place in our emotional mind!
We would like to share a story from one of my clients who has given us permission to share his story.
Benji is a young man that I have worked with for 3-4 years, a great individual to work with and get to know. I have been helping him learn how to change his thinking about some of the negative experiences in his life. I have also been helping him learn how to change how he responded when certain thoughts of a negative situation triggered responses of high anxiety and stress.
On one particular virtual call, I actually had the opportunity to became the student for part of the conversation. Here’s a paraphrase of our conversation as we were discussing a particular negative trigger. I know his parents and knew that their faith was an important part of their lives and an important part of how they raised their children.
Me: “Benji, one of things that we haven’t talked much about is how your faith might be of help in letting go of some of these old responses.”
Benji: ‘Yeah, you’re right but maybe because one of my triggers is the extremely negative experience I had at that religious retreat we’ve talked about.”
Me: “Sure, that might be part of it but that experience was very much different than how you were raised at home, right?”
Benji: “Yeah, you’re right” and then he paused.
Me: “What we have been working on is learning how to let go of the negative emotional responses that happen when something triggers you from that experience. You’ve come along in way in reframing how you respond to some of the other triggers. How do you think you might be able to use your faith to start to let go of this particular one?”
He looks off to the side of his room, was quiet for a bit, then looked down and continued to be quiet. Then he quickly raised his head, looked at me in his monitor with a wide smile on his face and said, “Here.”
Me: “What do you mean, here?
Benji: “That’s the word I can use when I hand off the anxiety and stress to God.”
Me: “Wow – that’s amazing! What’s going through your mind when you say “Here” and hand off your anxiety to God?
Benji: “I picture putting my anxiety into my open hands, look up and see God with his hand out. I reach out and dump my anxieties into his hands and simply say, “Here.”
Me: Benji, that’s so awesome! How does that make you feel?”
Benji: “As soon as I see that in my mind and say “Here’ I can feel my mind, my neck and my shoulders start to relax. I actually feel more in control of how I want to feel.”
Me: “That is so good. Benji, right now you are the teacher and I am the student. You have just shared a story with me that I will never forget and that I can use whenever my anxiety or overwhelm gets too high.”
And there you have it – Benji’s story.
When it comes to letting go of negative feelings, you can also remember Psalm 55:22
“Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you.”
There can be a great deal of uncertainty when we are trying to change our responses to things that cause us to feel some type of negative emotion. Uncertainty always occurs between letting go of the old way of responding and learning how to anchor the new way of responding. God is always present through these uncertain periods and we can remember Joshua 1:9
“Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Three questions for you:
- What “old” response or pattern in your life might God be inviting you to release, even a little, during a transition you might be going through?
- If you were to hand your own worry or stress to God, as Benji did, what word and image might help you make that shift?
- How can you imagine God meeting you in the middle space between the “old” and the “new,” offering comfort, clarity, or strength?
And three things you can try:
- Take the time to reflect on some of the transitions you have experienced in your life so far. Then, think about where you are at now because of those transitions. This can be an opportunity to be thankful, and it also proof that you made it through to the other side each time.
- If you are experiencing some form of transition now, think about what might be holding you back from getting to that new beginning. Write it down – name it. Then think about how you can reframe it so that it becomes less of a challenge or, perhaps, an opportunity.
- Anchor your thoughts in your faith, to trust that it is okay to let go of the ‘old way of being’ and move forward into the ‘new beginning,’ the part that ‘you cannot see quite clearly’ right now. Reflect on how your faith helped you through the last transition. Then reflect on how your faith can help you through the current one.
Transitions can feel messy, uncertain, and uncomfortable, but they also open the door to new ways of thinking, responding, and trusting. Benji’s story reminds us that we don’t have to hold everything on our own—God meets us right in the middle of the “in-between” and invites us to hand over what weighs us down.
As you move through your own seasons of change, hopefully you:
- Find courage to let go of what no longer serves you,
- Develop openness to the new beginnings taking shape, and
- Have confidence that God walks with you every step of the way.
Visualization is a very easy and yet very powerful technique. So, will you try it in some form or not?
Remember, 100% of the choice always lies with you!
Stay anchored in faith!
Dana & Brenda Couillard
P.S. If you have any questions, comments about any of the Anchored in Faith articles, or a story you would like to share with the congregation, please contact us at the emails above.
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