Smokey would be 104 years old this coming December . . . . . . if he hadn’t passed away when he was 58. Smokey was my Dad’s nickname from his days in the army overseas in WWII.
He had fought up the boot of Italy and then on into Belgium and Holland for the last two years of the war. On May 8, 1945, he lost over 80% of the use of his right hand from exploding grenade fragments. May 8 also just happened to be the last day of the war in Europe.
This was obviously a major life transition for him, both physically and emotionally. But . . . we don’t remember him ever complaining about his situation or his life. He rarely talked about the war or his hand. It was just a fact of life.
He seemed to have what he called a “pass-off nature.” He tended to pass stressful things off, let them roll off his shoulders. He did this throughout his life. I think it was Dad’s way of letting go of things that he had no control over. It was his way of dealing with the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
Being able to change our perception like that is a major part of managing our stress. I think one of the ways that Dad compensated for this major change in his life was by changing his perception of what his life could be like going into the future.
Why am I telling you this story?
When we experience a transition in our lives, there is an ending of the ‘old’ way of life and then the beginning of a ‘new’ way of life. In between, there is uncertainty with a mix of uncomfortable and comfortable emotions.
We all go through many transitions in our lives. For Dad, his new life story could only begin as he began to let go of the old story and started growing into his new life story. It is the same for us, regardless of the size or the significance of our transition. The next story of our lives always begins with the ending of the last story.
You will see this when you look back over some of the transitions you have already gone through in your life. Here are just a few examples: changing careers, getting married, having children, moving to a new home or city, or the loss of someone close to us. Our journey through the recent Covid pandemic is another great example.
The many transitions that we all experience can be anchored in our faith. Hebrews 11:1, (NIV). describes faith this way:
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
When it comes to life transitions, God gives us a vivid invitation to stop dwelling on the past, to release it, and to open ourselves to what He is doing now – to let go of ‘what was’ in order to move into ‘what can be.’
Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:18-19 (ESV)
Two questions for you:
- What emotions, thoughts, or habits are you holding on to now that may be barriers to managing your stress more effectively?
- If you aren’t aware of them, how will you let go of them in order to move forward?
And three things you can try:
- Take the time to reflect on some of the transitions you have experienced in your life so far. Then, think about where you are at now because of those transitions. This can be an opportunity to be thankful.
- If you are experiencing some form of transition now, think about what might be holding you back from getting to that new beginning. Write it down – name it. Then think about how you can reframe it so that it becomes less of a challenge or, perhaps, an opportunity.
- Anchor your thoughts in your faith, to trust that it is okay to let go of the ‘old way of being’ and move forward into the ‘new beginning,’ the part that ‘you do not see’ right now. Reflect on how your faith helped you through the last transition. Then reflect on how your faith can help you through the current one.
We buried Dad in 1980 with his right hand where he always tried to have it while in public – in a pants pocket out of sight. We also buried him with pieces of shrapnel left in his body from two different wounds during the war, the last being the grenade. But . . . we remember his “pass off nature,” the gift of letting go. It was a gift he unintentionally left for each of his sons to try to develop in our own lives.
It’s a gift I’m still working on it!
Dana & Brenda Couillard
P.S. Watch for the next Anchored! article: “Benji’s Story.” It will focus on a second aspect of letting go in faith.
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